me

Alright, it's been quite a while since I last blogged, eh? I am really going to try to turn that around.
Life since I've been home: I work NON-STOP!! Literally. Some days I work 14-15 hours. Yeah, that's right. Plus did I mention the fact that I have to wake up at 4:30am to go to work in the first place? As much as I hate working where I do, I for sure don't hate the paychecks...as they are quite fulfilling with me working so many hours! (oh yeah, I work weekends too!)

Living with my family has been pretty enjoyable...possibly because I'm never home (and I'm the one who causes all of the trouble in the first place).

Clayton and I have somewhat adjust to me being gone. I haven't seen him now today in 7 weeks and still won't see him until Thanksgiving. Honestly, I am having a really hard time with this. I HATE not being with him. This is the longest we have ever gone apart from each other. I miss his gentle touch, warm smile and embracing eyes. We have been faced with some issues of being apart (created by me), but I know that because we have such an enduring love that we will make everything work. Maybe this is a good time to kind of describe the history of Clayton and I.

We dated when we were in high school. I was a sophomore, he was a junior. That summer following I broke up with him to date someone else (for almost 2 years). Clayton and I didn't talk for one whole year. But then my senior year of high school I looked him up on the University of Iowa's webpage. Ironically there were two Clayton Bruce's. I took a guess as to which one was him and sent an email saying something really stupid about 'I don't know if you remember who I am...blah blah'. He couldn't believe the fact that I had done that. He wasn't sure if he was mad at how stupid of an email it was (asking if he remembered me...duh!!! I think we could have won the breakup of the year award!!) or happy/confused that I had contacted him.

Well he emailed me back and when he would come back in town from college, we would sometimes go out (yeah I was still dating that guy...and he didn't like this). But I was determined to go with him. The following year I went off to college at the University of Toledo. There Clayton and I talked several times and at the end of the school year I asked him if he wanted to go camping for the 4th of July. OK, may not seem like a big deal...but he ALWAYS would go out with his friends on the 4th, so being gone with some girl who broke his heart a few years back was kind of unsettling (for lack of a better word).

We went up to Minocqua, Wisconsin and stayed in his grandparents permanent summer mobile home type thingy (Clayton calls it a trailer...but I think that sounds trashy). We had the BEST time ever there! That trip was not only fun, it was so totally emotionally revealing. Oh my gosh, Clayton and I just let it all go. We talked and talked and talked, barely even slept. It was like we were at church, confessing all of our sins. We both cried and laughed, while our love grew.

We have had our fair share of trials and tribulations since that ever so memorable trip up north. But Clayton and I have something special I do believe. We know what it takes to make us work. I may mess up big time here and there, but with a love like Clayton's and a love like mine, nothing will destroy us.

I love him with all of my heart and am so excited to be marrying my best friend on December 17, 2006.

I love the life that he and I have built, I love our dogs, I love the fact that we wants/is a cowboy (ish). I love that he believes in me, that he wants me to accomplish my dreams and goals...and will stand by me the whole way through. I love that he is centered, focused, outgoing, funny, lovable, determined, seeking, grounded, smart, experienced. But most importantly, I love that he loves me...for who I am and what I was and who I will be.